I don't wanna be someone who I am not. It goes against who I am entirely, for you I will take that leap into the abyss and become who you'd like me to be forever more. Can I be that painting you see on the wall? The picture perfect girl. The one without flaws and does whatever you'd like her to? I could try. Would you let me? For one day, pretend I am her. That girl on the wall. Waiting to burst out of the cage that molds her. The cage that binds her to you. She wants out of it only so that she can wrap her arms around you and tell you everything is alright. With her arms tightly wrapped around your waist she would say "darlin' I ain't going anywhere."
the one that bends is more likely to break. To take on a design of your own is to be admired (outloud or not) by all
ReplyDeleteThis sounds as if it could be a song, or a poem. Maybe try changing the format into one? :)
ReplyDeleteEither way, there's lots of cool thoughts in here.
One thing that confused me though was the second line. Did you forget to write a "but"?
As well in the fifth sentence, I would add a "who" before "does whatever..."
In the second last sentence, I would change it to "She wants to get out of it...", because the grammar seems kind of off.
Last sentance I believe you're missing a comma before the first quotation marks.
By the way, I love the homey feeling that the last sentance gives you; it alone paints so much imagery.
Oh my goodness, I'm harking on your grammar and I make a mistake myself. I'm such a hypocrite. :P
ReplyDeleteI meant "There are lots of cool thoughts in here".
Wow.